Dr Kelly Fleming

I have had some bad experiences with people who were supposed to love me.

I’ve been harmed by them and healing takes a lot of time.

I have learnt some very important lessons, mainly due to my Orthodox faith.

• Forgiveness is not easy but it is necessary
• “Forgive and forget” is not an accurate phrase and should not be a part of my way of thinking
• One can learn to forgive but they cannot forget the experience
• Forgiveness can be a lifelong journey
• Forgiveness comes in small baby steps
• Forgiveness begins with not wishing harm on the person who has hurt me
• Forgiveness is not to intentionally speak harmful things about the person who has hurt me
• Forgiveness works side by side with faith and trust in God
• Forgiveness involves no contact or very limited association when circumstances cannot be avoided
• Forgiveness also reminds me that I have sinned against others, intentionally or unintentionally
• Forgiveness means asking those I have hurt in some way by words or actions to forgive me
• Forgiveness means making a conscious effort to keep tabs on myself
• Forgiveness does not remove the harm done to me but it does help me to move forward

• Holding a grudge against someone will not make me a better person
• Holding a grudge against someone limits my personal growth

If you have experienced harm or been hurt in any way by someone, step up and be the “better person”. Do not allow yourself to fall to their level. No one truly knows what another person is thinking nor why they would hurt another person. Perhaps it was unintentional. Perhaps their own mental health may be the reason.

I have a lot of triggers from the two people who harmed me. Each day I continue to work through those triggers. I allow people who are close to me into my life and I set boundaries to protect myself.

Life is never easy, we fall, we cause others to hurt and we experience hurt ourselves.

Be mindful of your words and actions. Strive each day to improve yourself. If you have faith in God, lean on Him, let Him bear your pain. He will help you heal. In time you will be able (it may take a lifetime) to forgive others.

🙏♥️🤟🏼