Dr Kelly Fleming

My Dad and I had a rough relationship through the years but in the end we came to really understand each other better.

My Dad used to drive me to doctor appointments and to Toronto every year before Chanukah and Passover.

We had awesome conversations on those road trips.

We talked about politics and even though we may have disagreed, we never argued. I’m a socialist and pacifist and my Dad was Liberal. Although he did admit that he had voted NDP for Jack Layton who became the leader of the opposition, unfortunately he passed away from cancer before he took his seat as Opposition Leader in the House of Commons.

Loretta Lynn accompanied us on our road trips. My Dad would turn up the volume in the van as loud as it would go and we would sing along with Loretta.

Red Sovine often accompanied us as he sang Daddy’s Girl and I would see a smile light up my Dad’s face. Then Loretta would be singing They Don’t Make ‘Em Like My Daddy Anymore and a smile would light up my face.

Jim Reeves, Randy Travis and Hank Williams also joined us on our road trips alongside Patsy Cline and Stompin’ Tom Connors.

My favourite story about one of our trips to Toronto was the last Passover before my Mum passed away.

Every year we would go for what Dad called “The Passover Crush” to do our shopping. Mum had my old phone and even though we had a list of things a mile long, Mum would be texting me things that she wanted us to get. Of course, the main thing was every kind of chocolate macaroons they had in the store. My Dad would be running up and down the aisle looking for the macaroons.

Finally I was in the line up and Mum was still texting. Finally Dad said “they don’t have them!” She didn’t believe him and told us to go to another store.

As much as my Dad complained, after Mum passed away, “The Passover Crush” was just never the same.

My Dad was a strong man. He taught us a lot about work ethics and he always provided for his family. He always wished he could have given us more but we had a roof over our heads and food and clothes. We didn’t have a lot of material things but we had what was important.

At the beginning of the pandemic, my Dad had a heart attack and quadruple bypass surgery. No one was allowed in the hospital and my Dad was alone except to text me.

After my Mum passed away, he quickly learnt how to text because it was the only way to communicate with me.

I received my last text from him on May 3rd. I used a friend to interpret for me when I called the hospital each day. Finally on May 15th, I was talking to the nurse and I said that Dad was DNR. She asked me to come into the hospital as soon as possible.

We drove to the hospital which is in the next town and I met with the doctors and nurses. They needed to confirm that he was indeed DNR. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to say.

I got to see my Dad one last time. I didn’t even recognize him. He had lost at least 50 lbs since his heart attack and quadruple bypass surgery.

He was semi-responsive and I told him a story that we both loved. As a kid, he had tried to teach me to play baseball. No matter how hard I tried, I could not throw that ball straight to him. After running around, chasing the ball, he finally said “would you just try to throw the bloody ball straight for once.” I was so mad, I threw down my baseball glove, grabbed the ball with my left hand and pitched it right at him and hit him in his left shoulder. The next day we were off to the store to buy a new baseball mitt for lefties.

As I told this story, and got close to the end of it, my Dad tried to lift his left hand and through my tears, I laughed and said, “yep, I was left-handed!”

Dad went to be with Mum in the early hours of May 17th, 2020.

Yes, we had a rough relationship as he didn’t understand mental health issues and Asperger’s but the good memories override all that.

I’ll always be Daddy’s Girl.